The past year in television made us feel a whole lot of feelings, but bored was definitely not one of them. Whether it was scripted or not, TV in 2013 was ground zero for some of the most compelling story lines, euphoric endings, bizarre behavior, and disturbing imagery that we’ve seen in a very long time. Ahead, the 10 most unforgettable moments of them all. Oh yeah, and for the last time in 2013: SPOILER ALERT!
Miley Cyrus Shocks The World
A hundred years from now, the history books will show that before she became President Miley Cyrus, before “The Star Spangled Banner” was replaced with “Wrecking Ball,” before The United States of America became known as There’s a Party in the United States of America, our all-knowing, all-seeing overlord Miley Cyrus was just a saccharine Disney kid with big dreams. Then, on a hot Brooklyn night in the summer of 2013, a foam finger, a tongue, and a twerk changed everything forever. All hail Lord Miley.
Walt Gets His Revenge
As Breaking Bad breathlessly hurtled toward it’s epic conclusion, we couldn’t help but wonder, would Vince Gilligan end his magnum opus with a high-brow, Sopranos-style fake-out, or would he give Walter White the kill-'em-all revenge we all secretly hoped for? The answer in four words: Nazi-killing-super-car.
The Super Bowl Goes Dark
Believe it or not, the most surreal moment of this year’s Super Bowl wasn’t halftime’s Destiny’s Child reunion. It’s what happened after. With all eyes on The Big Easy, and the second half about to get underway, the stadium’s power went out for a full 34 minutes. The Internet broke, players stretched on a darkened field, and 100 million people stared at their screens, in utter disbelief. And, that kids, is the story of the longest bathroom break ever.
The Dome Drops
It’s never a good a sign when a show peaks in its pilot episode, but unfortunately, such was the case for this tepid Stephen King adaptation, which never could regain the momentum set by the titular dome and the initial havoc it wreaked when it fell on top of the small town of Chester’s Mill. The gory aftermath of a cow being sliced in half is the most haunting image we saw on network television all year.
Nick & Jess Get It On
Not since Ross and Rachel has a TV couple totally captivated us with their will-they-or-won’t they saga quite like New Girl’s Nick and Jess. So, after two tension-filled seasons of fake-outs and makeouts, the roomies’ magic moment finally came after the gang spent an entire episode reminiscing about how they lost their V-cards. As Jess gets into the elevator to meet her first, Nick bursts in, the first chords of Ellie Goulding’s “Anything Can Happen” begin to play, Nick sweeps Jess off her feet and carries her into the bedroom, and we all realize that life in apartment 4D will never be the same.
The Wedding From Hell
Even with Game of Thrones’ habit of killing off main characters in particularly gory fashion, no one saw this one coming: a jaw-dropping climax to a jaw-dropping season that left the entire House of Stark dead in its wake. Remember after Ned Stark’s death in season one, when all your friends who read the books told you that the worst is yet to come? That you ain’t seen nothing yet? They were right.
Rob Ford Is Rob Ford
No one could have predicted that the most talked-about political scandal of the year would originate in Canada, a.k.a. The Country No Ever Talks About. But, after Toronto’s churlish mayor revealed — among other illicit things — that he’d smoked crack while in office, every cable news network and late-night talk show became non-stop Rob Ford gag reels, devoted to the surreal but hilarious fallout that ensued. Whether it was in interviews or in city council meetings, Rob Ford was a walking, talking train wreck, and we couldn’t look away.
Kanye West & Jimmy Kimmel Kiss And Make Up
Publicity stunt or not, there was no way we were missing Kanye West’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live — not after the unlikely duo’s legendary Twitter feud made international headlines and gave birth to the greatest hashtags of the year. Would the late-night host offer a mea culpa, or would he continue to poke and prod Kanye until the volatile rapper literally exploded into a spasm of gore and gold on national television? Luckily for Kimmel, he didn’t have to do much of either, as Kanye took over the interview with a series of stream-of-consciousness rants about creativity, celebrity, Steve Jobs, and Jesus. While we didn’t get the fireworks we were hoping for, it was still the most riveting talk-show appearance of the year.
Lance Armstrong Comes Clean
Lance Armstrong’s January appearance on Oprah’s couch wasn’t just compelling because of what he said. Yeah, Armstrong admitted to doping during all seven if his Tour de France wins. But, we already knew that. What made the interview so riveting was the way in which he said it: cold, callous, and calculating, especially when he admitted to years of systematically bullying and discrediting his accusers. We watched as a hero became a villain, right before our eyes.
Hannah Plays Ping-Pong And Stuff
Lena Dunham has never been one to shy away from controversy, but even she was floored by the backlash that ensued after “One Man’s Trash” — you know, the episode where Hannah has a two-day sexcapade with a gorgeous, older man (Patrick Wilson), which includes a naked round of ping-pong followed by sex on the ping-pong table. Way too much was made about the how a guy that looks like this could go for a girl that looks that. Um, who cares? They had sex on a ping-pong table!