The Scandal Recap Ridiculist: Goodbye For Now

1Photo: Courtesy of ABC.
Every week, we'll be recapping all of the totally outrageous — yet totally awesome — developments on our favorite political drama, Scandal. Check out last week's Ridiculist here.
Advertisement
There is literally so much going on in this episode we don't know where to start. In fact, we're still frazzled by it all and are going to need an hour or two to come down off this Scandal-induced high, which is not what we need during the already stressful holiday season. This episode moved at a mile a minute, and the terse monologues were even tersier. See? We told you we're frazzled. Luckily we've got a few Scandal-free weeks to digest everything, so everyone has plenty of time to read — and then reread — our Ridiculist. We'll be back to brighten up your Thursday nights on February 27.
This whole blood-and-guts trend is really not working for us. We turn to Scandal for over-the-top drama, not to see people's insides splashed about on a weekly basis.
We know this is totally beside the point, but Quinn can really work the high pony. Feeling. It.
"The devil came in" is officially our new catch phrase. Especially when we're looking for an excuse for taking too many tequila shots at the holiday party. Too soon?
Not to be disrespectful, but Rowan, please. Fitz doesn't give a crap about whether you approve of him "seeking your daughter's hand." We never thought we'd be defending their relationship but there you have it.
Advertisement
This show is so rife with disturbing relationships that we just don't know where to begin. When Abby and David are the most promising couple you know you've got problems.
Back to the Fitz-Rowan standoff. We have to admit that we haven't been paying much attention to this plotline tonight because we're so weirdly turned on by POTUS' new 'tude. Helloooo Fitzgerald Grant III.
Has anyone ever done a count of how many times a Scandal plotline changes direction within a single episode? By our calculations that number is approximately thirty seven.
Also, where is this "baby" they keep speaking of? We get that working with child actors is tough, but even a picture would be appreciated at this point.
How does Eli Pope sleep at night? And we don't mean metaphorically, because of his questionable moral decision. We mean literally, how does he find time to close his eyes? We'd like to know his secret. Or Cyrus', for that matter.
Advertisement

More from Movies

As long as Harry Potter fans keep rewatching the beloved movies, they'll keep finding new reasons the series will make you cry. The latest discovery? Harry...
The documentary world can be overwhelming. Think of a topic — broad or obscure — and very likely a movie has probably been made about it. Biographies, ...
Luna Lovegood is one of the most memorable characters from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. Later, the eccentric character was brought to life by the ...
The 1960s never seemed creepier than in Rose McGowan’s haunting short film, Dawn (2014). McGowan, whose long acting résumé includes roles on TV megahits ...
Few things bring cinephiles joy quite like spending the weekend holed up in a movie theater, devouring the latest silver screen debuts. Though the biggest ...
There comes a point in every person's life when Netflix just isn't enough. Despite there being countless options on the popular streaming service, ...
Double check the calendar: It's officially fall. The leaves are changing, Halloween is looming, and cuffing season is just around the corner. What does ...
Five months after a controversy formed around the casting of Scarlett Johanssen as a Japanese woman in Ghost in the Shell, the teasers are here. For the ...
So, there's a movie coming out this weekend called Total Frat Movie, and it's awful. There are few words to describe the plotline, characters, and ...
In The Dressmaker, Kate Winslet's character Tilly returns to the town that spurned her as a child — bringing an arsenal of seamstress skills that she ...
WARNING: So many spoilers ahead! Plot twists unraveled. Endings revealed. Proceed at your own risk. March 16 marks the 15th anniversary of the release of ...
Netflix, we have a bone to pick with you. Once again, you are yanking some of our favorites from our queues. It's hard to wrap our heads around it, but yes...
Sex scenes, we've seen a few. The first times that seldom bear resemblance to anyone's real first time. The quick-my-wife-is-out-of-town humpfests that ...
We are not robots. We feel things. We can't survive on comedic bromances and CGI-ed action sequences alone. We like our joy, but we need our sadness, too. ...