Judy Blume Ruined Christmas, According To Amazon Reviewers

sfPhoto: via Amazon.com.
There are a lot of things that merit outrage. Judy Blume's 1980 kid's book, Superfudge, is not one of them. Or, so I thought.
Advertisement
A few weeks ago, just in time for the holiday season, I discovered an angry mob of Amazon reviewers have flocked to the Superfudge page to warn of dangers of Chapter 10, entitled "Santa Who?"
"Thanks for ruining Christmas, Judy Blume," reads one reviewer's headline.
Another exclaims: "WARNING! Do NOT allow kids who love Santa read this book"
My personal favorite is this headline that reads like a triple spit-take.
"Anti Children! No Santa!? Are you Crazy?! Awful"
Advertisement
What did Blume do to warrant so many interrobangs?!
For Fudge newbies, Blume's book is about a little brother named Fudgie, a big brother named Peter, and the moral panic that comes with being a smart, sentient kid-sized person in a world where adults make all the decisions. Compared to Harry Potter, nothing really happens. But, then everything happens.
In the chapter in question, Peter is concerned that his lil' bro is being misled by his parents. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to let him go on believing in Santa. He thinks you can get whatever you want just by asking," he tells his mom. Mom isn't nearly as concerned, but she admits that "sooner or later he'll have to learn that Santa is just an idea."
Her bluntness is chilling, and so is her ignorance to Peter's baggage. How do you keep a devastating secret from a kid when you know he'll find out the truth eventually? Why would a bunch of grown-ups make up something wonderful only to take it away? And, when are you ever emotionally prepared to learn you've been lied to?
This may explain why the book has caused so much Amazonian conflict, not so much for kids, but for their parents. Once you get past all the assault-like punctuation, the reviews are kind of heartbreaking.
Advertisement
"As a parent of four kids under 8 years old, I can't help feeling somewhat betrayed by an author."
"I was furious. What kind of children's author does that???"
"I think my daughter's OK but I'm absolutely traumatized!!"
And, then there's this one: "I was shocked and disappointed that the author plainly tells children there is no Santa Claus (she's wrong of course)."
I guess Fudge's mom was wrong. You don't ever have to learn that Santa is just an idea if you don't want to.
Advertisement

More from Pop Culture

If Rob Kardashian needs to get in touch with his little sister, he's going to have to send his message through another Kardashian. Rob has revealed that ...
For any outsider, it seems impossible to pinpoint exactly where things went wrong for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. However, some new details have ...
Let's play a game. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a superhero outfit. Are you wearing a red, white, and blue bodysuit with a gold headband-cum-...
Jeb Bush has been a Florida governor and a presidential candidate. His latest gig? Comedian, apparently. In an opening sketch for the Emmys, Jimmy ...
Some twentysomethings are all about enjoying the single life. Others can't wait to settle down. Nicole Kidman happened to be the latter. The 49-year-old...
Word to the wise: Should you ever become acquainted with any of the Kardashians, don't give out your phone number. Better yet, pretend you're on The Wire ...
Earlier this week, Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts announced their separation, ending their 11-year relationship. Their split tears at our freshly mended ...
Nick Jonas has already gone solo musically, but it seems he'd now like to do the same in his personal life. The single JoBro told Los Angeles ...
Justin Bieber's presence is requested in Florida, but, unfortunately for him, not by his fans. According to TMZ, a judge has ordered Bieber to come back...
Another week of Fantasy Football means another week of triumph, or in my case, heartbreak. My team, Good Better Besser, lost again this week. And to add ...
Single? Find yourself a John Legend. The man knows exactly what to say when his wife, model and social media guru Chrissy Teigen is brought up. In his ...
Justin Theroux is one year into his union with Jennifer Aniston, and he's happily married. His secret to success: kindness. The Girl on the Train star ...
Jennifer Garner's most important alias of the past decade has definitely been her role as a mother. The 44-year-old has three children (Violet, 10, ...
Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna aren't broken up after all, y'all. They just are a experimenting with living in separate homes until the baby arrives, ...