"You're the best I ever had — not to mention, that thing is swollen." It sounds like a misbegotten line from an episode of Grey's Anatomy; one where sex and grim diagnostics intersect in the most cringeworthy way possible. But no, this bit of poetry, as you probably already sadly gleaned, is a lyric from Justin Bieber's new single, "Hold Tight." Oh dear. Suddenly, we're grasping for dear life.
No doubt, it's an awful choice of words, but somehow it's still not the most unsexy lyric of the year. Which failed pop seduction takes the cake? The Guardian offers up an excellent (and hilarious) quiz of ten possible face-to-palm-worthy contenders, and leaves the verdict to us. It's hard to pick when erotic misfires "I'll **** the freckles off your face," "I wanna have your baby/Gotta have you like crazy/And iron your shirts," and "You’re like a needle in a haystack/I wanna sit you where my face at" are all jewels for the choosing, but what do we know? We only got half the answers right. (Hint: Kanye West, Katy Perry, and Justin Timberlake all feature in the mix). Guess we'll have to up our raunch quotient in 2014 — or you know, just hope pop stars write better lyrics. Take the quiz and let us know your favorite regrettable lyric of the year. (The Guardian)