The Scandal Recap Ridiculist: Vermont Is For Lovers

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1Photo: Courtesy of ABC.
Every week, we'll be recapping all of the totally outrageous — yet totally awesome — developments on our favorite political drama, Scandal. Check out last week's Ridiculist here.

Is it embarrassing if we say we were hoping for a Thanksgiving-themed episode this week? We know it's a little outside of Scandal's raison d'être but we're just really feeling the holiday season. And, hey, even Gladiators have to eat. Alas, you can't always get what you want, so instead of our favorite characters munching on turkey and sweet potatoes, we got Olivia's mom chewing off her own arm. Appetizing! We're still so traumatized by that scene that we can't really gather any more words on anything, so on to the Ridiculist.

Damn, Eli be cold. We've said it before and we'll say it again. Mama Pope just wants to see her daughter!

No comment yet on this whole Quinn-Charlie thing. We know it's totally crazy that she's being blackmailed and that Pope & Associates might be compromised, but she's just so dang thoughtless sometimes. She got herself into this situation.

Why is it that every time Fitz calls Olivia the dramatic music starts up? We know it's Fitz, and we know that Olivia is either going to answer it in a huff or throw the phone down and storm off in a huff. Olivia be huffin'.

Except for the time she answered, hung up, and then smashed the phone. That we did not see coming.

So, apparently to Fitz, "Don't wait up" is synonymous with "I'm going to my house four states away." Is this Vermont compound the place they've been hiding the older children all this time?

Sometimes we forget that Olivia and Kerry Washington aren't the same person (yes, we have some boundary issues). So, during that steamy scene with the president, we found ourselves thinking, "Huh, wonder if this is when she got pregnant." It's a blurring of the lines, sure, but it could be a good way to build in the real-life baby.

Okay, we literally forgot about Jake during the sex scene. But, when Liv walked into the office and saw Jake's face, our hearts sank. Why can't she just love him as much as he loves her?

Nooo, Phoebe Congresswoman Marcus! If you go back to Montana, how will we reminisce about how much we miss Friends?

Okay, so it's safe to say that whatever sent Mama Pope to prison was no joke. Lady's got skills.

We're used to cliffhangers with Scandal, but this was a triple whammy if we ever saw one. Huck torturing Quinn? Olivia meeting her not-dead mother? James cheating on Cyrus? Slow your role, Shonda.