American Hustle, albeit this season's more elusive of the Oscar contenders, is shaping up to be something of gilded hedonistic opulence. We're pretty sure you've got another date with that golden fella, anyway, because this preview of your turn as a miserably sassy housewife is spot-on. For some reason we're seriously considering pulling our velour track suits out from the bottom of our dressers because of how effortlessly you look in yours (we blame the hair). Alright, that might've been a stretch, but this role is nevertheless inspiring. It's okay your character can't comprehend the basic rules of domesticity. What matters is that you tried, and Christian Bale will just have to deal. (The bored nail tap? Brilliant.) Let's just say you've officially one-upped Betty Francis Draper in the housewife department. "Thank God for me." Yes, J. Lawr, thank God for you.