Hump, Marry, Kill: Put Me In, Coach

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hmkPhoto: Courtesy of Greg Gayne/FOX; Courtesy of Cartoon Network; Courtesy of MTV2.
Hump: Coach is back on New Girl, and it feels like some sort of order has been restored to the show that hasn’t existed since the pilot. Lamorne Morris’ Winston has been a fine replacement for Damon Wayans Jr., who had to drop out of the show when ABC renewed Happy Endings for a second season. But, there’s just something about Coach, the hyper-masculine life of the party one minute, the emotional softie crying in a strip club the next. It’ll be fun to see what the writers do to evolve his character the rest of the season, because — yay! — he just signed on to be there.

Marry: Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of Love Actually, so let me say this: Jason Mantzoukas, to me, you are perfect. Everyone else who participated in Adam Scott’s shot-for-shot remake of the Too Close for Comfort (what even is that show?) opening credits was pretty effing great, too. If the fourth and final installment of The Greatest Event in Television History series isn’t based on Step by Step, though, the entire exercise is moot because the opening credits have a massive roller coaster on a beach. Like, right next to the ocean, because TGIF doesn’t play by your rules, basic principles of geology and oceanography, or municipal zoning laws.

P.S. Adam, please e-mail me about casting ideas because I have many. Specifically, Paul Rust as Mark, Nick Thune as Cody, Kristen Bell as Dana, and Alan Thicke as Patrick Duffy. You can be Jason Marsden’s character or J.T.

Kill: MTV2 (which I actually didn’t acknowledge as having original programming until this week) has a new show called Guy Court, in which bros take their bros to fake People’s Court to argue the heinous crimes perpetrated against one another. Said offenses include one defendant's fondness of peppering group text messages with dick pics, and another’s refusal to leave his house all summer because he was playing World of Warcraft. Here’s an idea, guys: Get better friends. Until then, you’re going to be on the receiving end of many, many more of your Bro-FF’s members'-only texts.

Yes, this is actually a TV show that exists. There’s a sexy bailiff (of course) and comedians playing lawyers and the judge. I only watched it so you don’t have to. You can thank me later.