Marry: Hi, Ben Feldman playing the man of my dreams** on The Mindy Project, acoustic mandolin version of pop songs and all. I’d have preferred Miley or Haim over that particular Katy Perry jam, but hey, it’s not every day a charming man pulls a mea culpa with a miniature stringed instrument on your doorstep. And, if this does happen to you every day, please contact me. I want to know all of your secrets.
**Well, minus a few million awesome points for his character’s negative review of Breaking Bad that Mindy Kaling posted on Instagram. However, it does show that he’s willing to take a stand and express an opinion contrary to that of the general public and/or cultural elite, which I admire. It just happens to be a wrong opinion when it comes to Breaking Bad. You’ll get ‘em next time, one-appearance fictional character I’ve built up way too much in my head.
Kill: Here’s a list of things I Googled (and wondered) while watching Reign, The CW’s fluffy new historical drama about Mary Stuart during her petulant teenage years at French court.
— Mary, Queen of Scots
— Did they really stay and watch royal couples consummate their marriage in medieval times?
— Is this girl seriously pulling a Marnie (you know, the scene after she meets Booth Jonathan) at the top of a staircase?
— Was anyone named Lola in 16th century England? How about Greer or Kenna?
— Why isn’t Jack & Jill on DVD?
— Does Mary get with this Sebastian guy? He’s not a real person, is he?
— How many times can I listen to the opening strums of The Lumineers’ “Charlie Boy” before going insane?
— Why is coyly slipping off one shoulder of your dress always the signal for “wanton young lady ready to surrender her virtue” in these shows?
— Could ladies in waiting really show this much skin?
— When did Scottish people start wearing tartan?
— This scene where she’s twirling on the dance floor and feathers start falling...oh dear.
— Can we throw Rossif Sutherland’s name into the Christian Grey casting hat? Was Nostradamus really that hot?
— Wasn’t Mary Stuart supposed to be clever?
— Are hair thongs going to make a raging comeback thanks to this show?
— How come the Scottish characters don’t have Scottish accents? Same question for the French ones.
— I’m going to keep watching this and hating myself for it, aren’t I?