The Scandal Ridiculist: Like Father, Like Daughter

Guys, Scandal is back, and in a big way. You might even say the show came back with a vengeance. Things got going right where they left off, with Olivia whisked away by her terrifying father to remedy the whole she's-the-president's-mistress situation. There were definitely some mixed reactions around R29 HQ this morning, but in general the episode set the show up for a lot of drama this season. Veep Sally Langston is poised to be a great secretive villain, Cyrus is embroiled in some kind of black ops, Quinn is most likely still crazy, and Fitz and Olivia are still elbow deep in their absurd back-and-forth love affair. Since we just can't get enough of this show's absurdly awesome ups, downs, and total shock value, we've decided to round up the most insane developments every week. Stay tuned every Friday for the highest highs, the lowest lows, and plenty of eye-popping speeches (mostly from Cyrus). And now, to the ridiculist.

Rowan Pope's epic monologue in the plane hangar. Sure, it was over-the-top, melodramatic, and only slightly unbelievable that someone could act that way towards their own daughter. But, it gave us an idea as to just how Olivia got to be the way she is — when your dad is hell and high water, it's no wonder you grow up to be such a tough cookie.

Fitz's reconciliation with Sally. We get that Fitz is in a fragile emotional state (but really, when is he not in a fragile emotional state?), but we're still not buying that he would give Sally any help in her quest to take him down. Bonus points, though, for his response to Sally's questioning his sudden kindness: "Because we're not married to one another." Ouch.

"The Lord did not fill out his voter registration card. So, guess what? The Lord does not have the right to vote in the United States of America!" We know that Sally Langston plays into a totally overdone stereotype of the right wing religious fanatic, but we couldn't help but crack up during this exchange. Along with her "and that poor, sweet brown baby that you have dragged into it," this scene was literally laughable.

Fitz's long con with Mellie. Sure, leaking Olivia's name may have freed her from Mellie's grasp, but it was a bit bullheaded for him to assume that it would actually help her to have the whole town country thinking she's an adulteress, no?

The further continuation of Fitz and Olivia's on-again, off-again relationship. Dear God, please release us from this hellish cycle. There is no way either of them can think they can overcome their history, so let's just give it up for good. Even the cast is a little tired of it. Team Jake Ballard for life.

Olivia's mom died in a plane crash. Of course the former Mrs. Pope perished in a fiery wreck. How did we not predict this? It was either an elaborate setup orchestrated by the government to kill her off, or she's been living in the wilderness, Hatchet-like, poised to return to civilized society (and Olivia's life) during Sweeps.

Charlie kidnapping Cyrus and drugging James. Now, we know that Charlie's a trained assassin and not exactly level-headed. But, if he simply wanted to show Cy some top-secret information, couldn't he have just shown up to the Beene/Novak and stated his purpose? Surely Cy is so drama-thirsty that he would have gone with willingly just for a look inside that Mystery Folder.

"We could just kill another intern...a bad intern, obviously." We're nervous about where Quinn is headed this season. Girl got a taste of the black ops lifestyle and she likes it a little too much.

Olivia's white coat in the bunker scene. It wouldn't be a proper Scandal recap without a mention of Olivia's wardrobe, and that white trench situation was the most Scandal-y, Olivia Pope-y piece of clothing we've ever seen. Brava.

"I'm going to need you to refrain from calling me a whore, at least to my face." Sure, this whole exchange reeks of melodrama, but the chemistry between Olivia and Mellie is pretty much the best on the show. There's nothing juicier than two power women going at each other's throats.