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One of the most heartbreaking moments in the viral Netflix hit Orange Is The New Black is when Suzanne "Crazy Eyes" Warren, after helping Piper Chapman into her bed, furtively asks her why she has the nickname Crazy Eyes. It is a sad glimpse into the next scene, where Piper's fiancé Larry eviscerates Crazy Eyes on the radio, but is also a peek into the intuitive innocence of the show's most explosive character. A bit like a King Lear's Fool (except, you know, in jail), Crazy Eyes is part poet, part chorus, and a manic voice that tells the truth — even though it's embedded in her trademarked crazy eyes. (Look: She threw her pie for you. That makes you her wife. It's pretty irrefutable.)
Yet, as the show goes on, her stilted way of talking and bombastic rants do more than provide a bit of comic relief. They almost turn into some sort of modern poetry in and of themselves. So, we tried a little test: Is this a Crazy Eyes quote or a part of a famous modernist poem? Can you guess the difference? (Or, perhaps, are they the same thing?)
The thermostat’s dipping, and we’re pulling on our winter boots. We’re practically jumping with glee over playing in the snow. But, our tootsies? Not so much. Gone are the summer months of regular pedicures to keep you constantly sandal-ready, but you don’t have to shell out a ton of cash or even leave your read