"And who are you, the proud lord said/that I must bow so low?" So begins the "Rains of Castamere", the song that was written about Lord Tywin Lannister (kind of like "Cry Me A River" if he were Justin Timberlake). If you witnessed the horrific bloodbath that occurred last night on Game Of Thrones, our hearts go out to you, and we encourage you to find happiness in these dark times.
In order to urge you to keep going now that the lineage of Stark has never looked so bleak, we would like to remind you, in a spoiler-free way, of the greatness that is to come in a post-Red Wedding world, and hopefully, after the tears wash away, one day we will be able to feel love again. (But not after getting our collective R.I.P Greywind tattoos.)
1. The eye-candy/sexual tension across the sea with Daenerys Targaryen: The episode before last introduced us to the very manly and dangerous Daario Naharis. Also, while there isn't anything able to, erm, go on down below, Greyworm is one heckuva good looking captain, as well.
2. Now, we don't have to worry about being heartbroken ever again: There is no room for love when you play the Game Of Thrones — just ask Ygritte. Remember this, folks.
3. This means we get more of the best dialogue of the show: Hearing Arya give Sandor Clegane a verbal whipping shows not just how vicious the third youngest Stark is, but how much both her and The Hound might just fear and respect each other. Nothing will ever be normal for Arya again, but she is still one of the most compelling characters on the show.
4. Well, at least there is no way Joffrey's wedding could go as badly: Right? Takes some pressure off the little guy, huh?
5. Let's be honest, Robb Stark got what he deserved: What son of Ned's would choose love over duty? Also, did he not hear his mother warning again and again about the prickly nature of the Freys? It appeared that the only people shocked were the Starks themselves, and now that semi-tedious love story is over.
Now, enjoy "Rains of Castamere," as sung by The National.
Photo: Courtesy of HBO