Writer Emma Rathbone takes us on a meandering, but all too real, consultation for the perfect tousled updo. You know the one: It's casual (or is it black tie?), it's not trying too hard (but you could never do it yourself). Or, as Rathbone puts it: "Picture your mom, right? And it’s a long time ago and she’s all young. And maybe you’re moving, so there are all these boxes around and she’s wrapping some wine glasses in newspaper and her hair is swept back in a casual knot, and you’re like, Mom looks prettier when she doesn’t even try. And then your dad comes in, and he’s like, Honey, this is when you look the most pretty — when you don’t even try. Remember that? That’s the general vibe I’m going for." Righht.
It's that indecisiveness and yet super-specific image that every bride has in mind for her wedding day. It's a paradoxical je ne sais quois that only you know so well. Sadly, as stylists are not mind-readers, this grand follicular vision may not translate so well. But, don't worry, she brought visual aids: "What? Did I bring any pictures? You’re in luck. Here is a patch of burlap. Here is a movie still of Maid Marian in the Disney version of Robin Hood. Here is a photo of some wild horses."
And oddly, we're with her... kinda. We LOLed the entire way through the article, but all the while we were secretly contemplating our own big-day tresses. "What do they look like?" you might ask. Well, that answer's simple: "Maybe like I just woke up from napping with some doves, but also really sophisticated..."
Click through for the entire article and tell us your hyperbolic wedding dream hair in the comments below. (The New Yorker)
Photographed by Mark Iantosca