WATCH: Tipsy Diane Keaton Gives Ellen DeGeneres Lessons In Tantric Sex

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Diane Keaton: Everyone's awesome godmother, who gets happy-tipsy after a glass of wine at the dinner table. Only this time, the dinner table was The Ellen DeGeneres stage.

The actress sat down with Ellen and over a chilled bottle of red wine began to explain her upcoming role in The Big Wedding. Besides the fact that all interviews should have a bottle of wine at the ready, here's what we learned: She's the mother to a 29-year-old virgin played by Topher Grace ("I don't know a man who's 29 and a virgin..."); she punched Robert De Niro ("I did it right."); she also kissed Robert De Niro ("I kissed him and put my head on his chest...but his chest did not have clothes on."). Lastly, and perhaps most interestingly, she figures out tantric sex, explaining, "The definition is something like, well, when you have tantric sex you go for a long time and you have that thing called the orgasm. For nine hours! That's ridiculous."

You know what's ridiculous? That we aren't hanging out every night with Diane Keaton.

Video: Courtesy of NBC/The Ellen Show.