The Weirdest, Wildest, And Least Appropriate Kate Middleton Baby Headlines

If you've been anywhere near an electronic device emitting any sort of news in the last 24 hours, you might have heard that the Duchess Of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, is pregnant. She is also hospitalized with a very serious and terrifying sounding bout of morning sickness, and may have twins, and they might be girls, and if so, they could be queens (or maybe not?), and she/they'll be named Diana...etc., etc. The point is, speculation is running rampant.
With a media frenzy comes a bevy of wild headlines, from the bizarre bets to very, very specific scenarios. We've gathered the best of the worst, so we can all make loads of "bump" jokes together.
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"It’s heir raising news! Kate is pregnant" — NY Post , keeping our punny expectations high.
"Kate Middleton: I'm Royally KNOCKED UP!" — There is something weirdly gross about this TMZ headline.
"Sure Kate Middleton Is Pregnant, But Is Prince Harry Ready To Be An Uncle?" — Crushable asks the tough questions.
"Kate Middleton's Pregnancy Sparks Betting Frenzy: The Royal Baby Will Be Brunette Called Elizabeth" — Thankfully Entertainmentwise got that right out of the way.
"Kate Middleton baby scenario: If C-section twins, a firstborn heir up to doctor?" — If the baby is born on the 18th day of the month in a southwest-facing hospital to a doctor wearing green scrubs, will it be the one the prophesies foretold? Hrm, Examiner?
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"Kate Middleton's Pregnancy: Snooki Offers the Royal Some Advice" — E! knows what a hospitalized, acute morning sickness-suffering Kate really needs to hear.
"Is Kate Middleton pregnant with twins? Health scare fuels heir and spare talk" — Referring to the birth of twins as creating an "heir and a spare" is the Observer at its most inspired.
"Could Royal baby make wedding anniversary present? Birth could be as soon as April (so now we know what Wills and Kate were REALLY doing after topless photos were published)" — Leave it to The Daily Mail to address the elephant in the room.
Lastly, The Daily Mail (again) asks all the tough questions, by quickly getting a sketch artist on the horn: "Is this what royal baby could look like? U.S. forensic artist generates images showing how Kate and William's child could look...and it's 'adorable.'"
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Photo: Via The NY Post
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