Kids...they say the darndest things, including some one-liners that really make the room go silent. We like to pretend they're innocent and sweet, but honestly, kids these days have some pretty weird and often surprising stuff going on in those little heads. It ain't all candy and cooties for the modern youngster, and two ROFL-inducing Tumblrs are out to prove as much.
For those of you not quite ready to have your child-adoring bubble popped, check out S**t Preschoolers Say. As you perhaps guessed by the double asterisk, the writer is a preschool teacher who documents the always hilarious and often adorable things her students say. Example: “When I grow up I am going to walk my cats on leashes and put music on recordings.”
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But for the more hardcore among you, look no further than Bad Kids Jokes. Written by a moderator for a children's jokes site, the author posts the shocking, insane, bewildering, and unbelievably funny cast-offs. Be they too offensive or just too weird, this has us convinced that the dregs of childhood comedic society are actually the cream of the crop. There are a lot of good ones, but a surefire classic is "YOUR HEAD IS SO FAT IT NEEDS TO LOSE WEIGHT" [so much sic].
What are you even still doing here? It's the weekend, and you have hours to kill, preferably in the dark with the shades pulled down, poking around the corners of the Internet. Get going before it's too late.
Image via S**t Preschoolers Say.